Anonymous asked:

I dormed 900 miles away for my freshmen year and was super excited about it. Then I ended up with literally no friends and an abusive relationship. I still wanna dorm so I transferred to a school much closer to home (100 miles) and now I'm having regrets. What if I don't make friends again or what if I end up in a bad relationship again? I don't wanna chicken out but at the same time I have this terrible anxiety about these things /:

First I would just like to say that I’m so happy you recognized you were in a bad and unsafe situation and decided to leave. I know so many people who have been in abusive relationships and didn’t get out until they had been extremely hurt. Just remember that you have control over your entire situation. Make yourself accessible to meeting new people in the first few days and weeks of school. Sign up for a club that you wouldn’t normally join. Keep your door to your dorm open so people will want to stop in and say hello. Also, now that you’re living closer to home you may want to go back on the weekends. Don’t do this for the first 6-8 weeks of school. Chances are you’ll meet more people on the weekend and you don’t want to miss out on that by being at home.

Regarding the relationship, maybe just take a break for a little while. Focus on establishing yourself at this new school. Spend some time studying and doing academic work. You don’t need to immediately find a boyfriend the second you step on campus. If you meet someone that you truly connect with, don’t hesitate to go out with them. But you don’t need to actively search for a boyfriend immediately.

I’m truly sorry that you have experience all these hardships and its only natural to worry that it will occur again. If you find that the anxiety is too much to handle on your own, go to a mentor our counselor on campus. They will be able to better help you handle the stress of changing schools and dealing with the aftermath of an abusive relationship. I wish you all the best of luck and hope that you are able to have a better experience at your new school!

Anonymous asked:

Is it acceptable if you don't make a ton if friends in college? I have people I can talk too about few things, I know and talk to my floor mates, but I don't really consider them as my friends. Do I come out as being awkward or socially inactive? Or am I just fine?

I know this is super cliché but when it comes to friends, quality is better than quantity. If you are satisfied with your social situation then don’t worry about it. There isn’t really such thing as normal. There are some people who have tons and tons of friends and there are others who only have a few really close friends. One isn’t better than the other. I’m sure that you’re just the type of person who prefers to have fewer relationships. Sometimes it can be exhausting trying to maintain so many friendships. If you feel unhappy or lonely, try and branch out and meet new people. But if you’re happy now, rock on with your bad self. 

just--alyssa asked:

So this is going to seem kinda silly, but for the majority of my life my parents have been talking about getting ready for college, and now I'm going into 10th grade, and I'm stressing about it so much, because I feel like I should be actively doing something to prepare for it. Is there any advice you could give on how to stop stressing, or something I can be doing?

There are some things you can do in 10th grade to prepare, but there’s no need to be extremely stressed out about it. You can start to research different colleges and visiting any that may be near you. Some people might think that it’s too early, but I started going to college info sessions towards the end of my sophomore year. If you find any that you would wish to apply to, look at their admissions requirements. This way you’ll have 2 years to accomplish what they’re looking for. Get involved in something that you feel passionate about in high school and stay involved. If you can, stay involved through the next two years so that colleges can see what you’re really passionate about.

Other than that, I don’t really know if there’s much more you can do other than just keeping up you’re GPA. You don’t really have to worry about SAT/ACT tests until junior year. And you won’t need to start actually applying to colleges until senior year. If you’re still feeling extremely stressed, make an appointment with your guidance counselor. They may be able to help you map out your next two years in high school. They may also be able to offer your parents some help with how to handle the college process as a parent.

I definitely understand how stressed you are, and I’m sure that having your parents constantly one you only adds to it. Just explain to them that you are only in 10th grade and you’re doing everything possible at this stage to prepare for college. I’m not sure what your situation is, but if you’re the oldest child and the first to go off to college, they are probably extremely stressed as well because they’ve never been through the process before. I’m sure that once they understand how stressed you are, they’ll ease off a bit. Good luck with your sophomore year and don’t worry too much!

Anonymous asked:

I'm going into my second year of college, and I have found my best friends and I am living with them this year. I did not like my roommate from this past year... To put it simply, she's very co-dependent, and I'm very independent so we did not mesh well and I do not like her (there are more reasons, but just to keep this simple). Throughout the summer though she has been reaching out to me and still talking to me... How can I politely tell her I just want to move on with my life?

That’s a really sticky situation. It’s difficult when you feel like you’ve outgrown a person, yet they’re still clinging on to what’s left of the relationship. Explain to her that last year was too drama filled and you’re looking forward to a fresh start this year. You shouldn’t have to be around anyone who causes unnecessary drama in your life and I’m sure that she will agree. It’s possible that she’s reaching out to you to make amends for last year. If she wants to apologize, let her. But then explain to her that you feel like you’ve out grown this friendship and you need to move on. Approach this like you would any other break up. Some people feel uncomfortable ending friendships in this manner, however I’ve noticed that if you don’t have a clean break, things get extremely messy and people get hurt. Just try to keep it as simple as possible and remember that you don’t have to keep anyone in your life that you don’t want. 

Anonymous asked:

I know you're technically not supposed to say, but did you go through any type of hazing process to get into your sorority? That's my biggest fear when it comes to joining.

No, I can absolutely, 100% answer this question. I was not hazed during my new member period. My new member period (or pledging process) lasted about 8-10 weeks, during which we learned the history of the chapter (both national history and chapter history), the rituals and the symbolism associated with the sorority and the sisters and girls in our pledge class. I never had to perform anything that would be considered hazing. Hazing is illegal and if you are hazed or know someone that is being hazed, report it to you’re school’s Panhellenic Association. This is not a good way to form friendships or forge the bonds of sisterhood. If you really want to go through the recruitment process, please don’t let the fear of being hazed hold you back. I know that there are 18 chapters at my university and not a single one hazes their new members. If you do decide to go through recruitment and get a bid to a sorority, you can also drop at any time, for any reason. You should never stay in a situation that makes you feel uncomfortable or unsafe. I would urge you to go through recruitment just to get a taste of all that Greek Life can offer. Personally, I have met my best friends, been involved in amazing philanthropies and have truly found my place on campus. If this is something that you really want to be a part of, don’t let the fear of hazing hold you back. This practice is truly on it’s way out and many sororities realize the importance of fostering good friendships. 

Edit: I would also like to note that since I have been an initiated sister there have been 4 additional new member classes to join my sorority. None of these girls were hazed.